The Keeper

The Keeper

I look outward, unto the world,

And sea

Nothing.

A vast swaying desert of haze gray

I live within this old lighthouse

I am its caretaker

I am its consciousness

I used to think this journey was my own

Now I see, this is about her

This is her story

She is the seeker

And I am the one she seeks

I’ve stood alone on this rock

Inside this lighthouse longer than I care to remember

Each day I awaken to the sunrise

And the calls of seagulls perched atop the cupola

No matter how tired or how weary

I move this body to purpose

I clean the outer walls and scrub away bird droppings

The tide and current provide me with food

I try to remain strong and hopeful

But it has been so long

I fear she may never come

I make sure the beacon’s light never dims

Water levels rise but the foundation remains strong

But how long can it last?

Night falls

And the ocean’s roar is mightier

Underneath the pale moonlight

At our darkest hour… we see clearest

In the distance, could it be? 

Something rides atop the waves

Could it be her?

No

It’s just driftwood

They approach us often

Lost, broken, and looking for the rest of themselves

I light the way for them as best I can

And send them off

They are not her

The storm and rain threatens the signal

I’ve sacrificed it all to keep this lighthouse

To make sure the light shines for her

Hoping and begging for her to see it

Wherever she may be

What makes her so special?
This is for her to discover

Her journey requires it

She must do this in order to break the fog of conformity

She must find her true strength within, never without

Meanwhile…

I walk the corridors

Up the winding staircase

My lantern in hand

Tired yet restless

A chance to stretch my weary legs

I’m running out of time

And yet I am ageless

Alone at sea

Loveless

Yet nothing frightens me more

Than the thought of fading alone

We’re all fading

The beacon, my constant companion

There are days when I just want to sleep

But it reminds me to keep on the lookout for her

This tower, though brutally ravaged by the sea

And mother nature’s wraith

It remains unbroken

An example of strength and fortitude

I lay myself to sleep at night with this in mind

Dreams of her love and our bliss

There is no eternity worth envisioning without her in it

She is my reason

One that shall never fade.

-Nevada J. Wolf

7/9/2011

This one is a part of a set of poems to be included in a chapbook I've been piecing together.  It's full of metaphors... almost nothing is to be taken literally... not even the title. 

I almost never use punctuation... feels restrictive.  I love ellipsis... I use them often instead of commas.

I used the lighthouse keeper as the speaker in this one to give a deeper sense of isolation and loneliness.